All of us in our journey are burdened by what we need to do, what we should not do, what keeps our families happy , what the society wants from us by and by mostly what we need to do to survive in these never ending situations. The fact is.. the list is never ending.. even after we get there. The human mind keeps wanting more and more.
I remember mine was just the same. But I had something in me that was different from my family. Everything I did, the food I liked to eat , the dress I liked to wear, the activities I liked to do, how I expressed myself was so different to my family . My parents could not understand why I was so different nor did they understand anything that made sense to me. It was a struggle with them to get accepted.
It also made me wonder if I am ever going to fit anywhere in this universe. At this point my parents were my world.. I did not understand how every time I looked at a person I saw a personality that was waiting to get out there. Was it that I was surrounded by people who hid in their different role cloaks to fit in ? Why was that the norm and was it necessary? Why was everyone like that? When asked to the people I knew, I was told this is how the world is. You need to learn the game to fit in. There started my trouble.. I tried and tried and failed miserably. My choices made me look towards the inner soul of the beings rather than the outward charade they struggled to upkeep. And I just was unwilling to fit in..and put a cloth over my very being.. to cover me up. I felt choked.
I witnessed that some people had a different aura within them that they were afraid to put it out there , no matter how strong the urge was. Along the way I understood that herd mentality was the only thing that was the norm or else you were to be ostracized. Now that is a lesson you get to study as you go on in your life at every stage. People were afraid to be themselves.
At some places the uniqueness in me was so visible that I never fit in or the truth may be that I never tried to fit in… so along the journey I made new definitions of myself, that meant I had to cut myself from my known surroundings and go in search of new pastures like the nomads of the earlier tribes.
This I did with great gusto and of course learned many things, many times the hard way. But when I thought I had almost found my space, I hit a wall. I couldn’t move .There was no more space to go. The world of pretensions had bogged me down and the unending questions of being so different caught up with me and I had bend with the weight of having to carry it.. . Doctors called it Rheumatoid arthritis. Allergies as young as 4 were the only illness I dealt with so far and at the age of 40 my life was suddenly brought to a halt by this auto immune disease. My knee joints were incapable of carrying the weight of my body. I was prescribed pain killers as this had no permanent cure. It just had to be adjusted as a lifestyle adaptation and just succumb to its pain or pop in pain killers when the pain becomes unbearable. Now this broke me. I was crushed. I did not want to be stuck with this pain or damage my organs with the pain killers. Despair and panic creeped in to my life like never before. I started to give up on other things as well. The inner me took it as my punishment for being different, the very thing that people close to me kept ringing into my ears. I had no interest in anything in my life. Days became difficult to move on.. Life came to a stand still.
I tried and tried as much as I can as I did not want to give up at this point after coming so far. Being the outside box thinker as always came to my rescue. I searched for help, any different kind of methodologies to get me out of this, that’s when I stumbled into NLP and life coaching. Under the guidance of a wonderful coach I went through a transformation and was healed of this pain along with many other negative energies that were filling up in me from the environment and I was able to find myself back. The journey was beautiful. I felt so close to me like never before.
Today am back to doing my yoga and exercises and back on my feet and completely recovered.
This experience made me look inward and find the reason for me being different. I believed this was a calling from the universe to understand the power of this technique and go out into the world to heal as many people as I can. Finally my purpose in life got its form and I became a certified NLP coach and thus began my journey of healing others. I feel blessed.
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